So you may rage on me during this, or agree with it. It's up to you, but what I really is this for my country, Norway, but here we go:
It's like, you dated, figured out you wanted to get together as girlfriend/boyfriend. You are in a phase where you are totally in love, and you feel there is nothing that can break it, and you are going to get married and live happy ever after.
Why get engaged in this phase?
In America it's pretty normal to get engaged early, but I've also heard people who have waited up til one year before they ask for the girls hand. It is, like, their culture you know, but in Norway it's not. I feel like people get engaged when they are in this phase, pretty early, for
running around with a ring on their finger showing it off, and if they later on break up it's like "oh well, shit, it wasn't the right person after all. Fuck all this money we put into this ring!". What is the point of that?
Why jump right to the engagement, instead of test the relationship?
So when you are in this phase with
new-romance and all, I personally think you are all
"blind by love", so if you wait til around two years or more, you have gotten to known the person more. You have maybe had some fights or discussion which wasn't as pleased as you wanted them to be, or maybe you have even lived together through the whole time?
THAT is when you know or can start thinking: Is this the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with? Is this relationship worth working on? etc..
My grandmother got married when she was around 22 years old, and she said to me many times "
You're going to have many lovers, before you find the one you're going to marry!" And it's true. I thought my last boyfriend was the right one for me, and I tried everything I could to work on it, but in the end I got
burned and broke up. When I got together with my boyfriend, I am together with now, he was already in the mood and ready to get a kid and engaged, but I said to him: "
If you truly love me, wait! I am still very young, and it's way to early!" He waited and we got a child now, but I am still not engaged. I can honestly say: yes, I've been through that new-romance phase, and yes, I've been thinking
"is this the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with?", and yes, I do want to get engaged.
BUT...
Why do all the funny things now, and not save anything for later?
It's true. There are happy moments in life which you really looking forward to, like example: kids, engagement, wedding day, birthdays, vacations, etc..
So
why do them all now?
Why not save some of them for later in life? Why are you in a hurry?
I've already been having one of my
big happy moment in my life, or actually two:
my boyfriend and
my son. So what, if I dream of getting engaged? That doesn't mean it's not gonna happen later in life, and it doesn't mean it have to happen
now. So I'm saving it, for later in life. When the relationship looks
grey or boring, let's boost it up, by doing one of the big happy moments!
But this is what I've been thinking for years, and what I feels annoys me.
And for those who only want to get engaged for running around showing off your ring, FUCK OFF ATTENTION WHORES!
:D
